25 things you don’t care to know about me
Remember back in like, 2009 when it was trendy to post a note with 25 random facts about yourself on Facebook and then tag a bunch of other people to do the same? Well, at the time I was too busy (lazy) to do my own and then I just got bored reading them and boycotted the whole idea. Well, I was killing some time the other day and thought it might be fun to make a list of my own and ended up having a great time coming up with quirky things about myself (it wasn’t hard to do). So here it is, it only took about 4 years but I love doing trendy things way later than socially appropriate but before it become retro or vintage. Like how I’m seriously debating purchasing my first pair of Uggs.
- Sometimes I have a hard time saying the words “cinnamon” “conscience” and always have to pause to make sure I’m not confusing “escalator” with “elevator” and “prescription” with “subscription” but I honestly feel like I’m not alone here.
- My favorite things to do as a kid was play video games and craft. Not much has changed since then.
- I have one toe thumb. Just one! I used to tell people I accidentally cut off the tip but then stopped because that’s really gross and not true.
- I’ve been to a lot of concerts but my favorite concert moment was standing in the front row at Moogfest 2011 while TV on the Radio covered “Waiting Room” by Fugazi. I’m also a music Nazi. That can be #6.
- I’m a music Nazi. I have very pretentious taste in music but I unabashedly adore Britney Spears, Ke$ha and Lady Gaga. I’ve dressed up as 2 out of 3 of those for Halloween.
- Sometimes when I’m writing I use words I didn’t even realize I knew the meaning to. Like “unabashedly”.
- I’m not really girly but I LOVE the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Orange County and sometimes New Jersey. My favorite housewives are Lisa Vanderpump and Tamra Barney. “Is your ass jealous of the shit that comes out your mouth?” is my favorite Tamra Barney quote and I’ve seriously considered buying Lisa Vanderpump’s book. I don’t even know why, it’s not like I’ll ever be caught running around Beverly Hills in 6 inch Christian Louboutin’s with my mini purse dog saying things like “My husband calls me a sex object. He says every time he wants sex, I object.” She’s just so witty and effortlessly cool.
- My favorite food is pizza. Real original, I know. I love butternut squash too. Bet you didn’t see that one coming! Boo-yah!
- I love saying “boo-yah” and try to find as many ways as possible to say that in a day. Same thing with “zing.”
- I love books. I love starting books and finishing books and discussing them. I love book stores, libraries, book shelves. I love the way they look and feel and smell and taste (wait…) I never go anywhere without having a book in my purse.
- I want to be a farmer or have a REALLY big garden one day with some chickens and a cow. But I hate bugs and dirt and sweating…Steve thinks I’m crazy!
- I’m a terrible swimmer and I’m terrified of the ocean, especially in Va Beach where the water is dark and murky so I have no idea what just brushed against my leg and I’m pretty sure it was a jelly fish or a shark and I need to get the fuck out of here before I step on another sea shell or crab or needle and tear a gash in my other heel…you get the idea.
- I love snowboarding and seriously thought I had a stab at being a professional snowboarder when I was 14 and lived hours away from any bunny hills in a mild climate in Northern VA with non-active parents who never took me skiing just because I watched the X games every year. I also thought this about skateboarding and being a famous rock star. I think I just had (have?) a really over-active imagination and completely unrealistic goals.
- When I was little (I love starting sentences like that) I thought musicals were a reflection of real life and didn’t understand why people didn’t suddenly burst out in song. I’m not even kidding. I legitimately 100% believed this. I think our neighbors thought I was retarded or on crack or something.
- I used to think I was really good at video games but when I look back, I don’t think I ever got past the third level of Mario Brothers…like, the third LEVEL, not the third WORLD. I didn’t realize you could actually BEAT a video game until I was in high school.
- I’m REALLY good a Pokemon Puzzle league for N64. Why do I keep talking about video games?
- I love cheese but I think cottage cheese is disgusting. Blegh! Why does it have “cottage” in the name?
- I think the worst sound in the world is the sound you make when you dip a knife in a jar of mayonnaise. I have a really hard time eating foods that make that “smacky” sound.
- I always seem to sneeze right after I apply mascara and get mascara all over my cheeks….like without fail. It’s so annoying.
- Oh man I LOOOOVE Oprah. When I was in fourth grade I used to go to my friend’s house every day after school, eat whatever was in her fridge (I vividly remember eating raw hotdogs a lot) and watch Oprah. That was our favorite thing to do. I was 9 and she was 8. I didn’t realize this was weird until I just wrote that.
- In 2008 I tried to look like a cool young hipster by getting black-framed glasses and side swept bangs but I ended up just looking like Sarah Palin.
- I’m not a morning person. No really. I know a lot of people say that but I’m really not. A good example of this is how one time in 1st period geography in 10th grade, we took a quiz and one of the questions was “name three desert plants” and my answers were: 1. desert plant 2.cactus and 3. aloe or something. The kid who was grading my paper raised his hand and asked if “desert plant” was as acceptable answer and everyone laughed and I wanted to crawl into a dark whole and get 3 more hours of sleep. Just the other week I was getting ready for work and I poured hydrogen peroxide in my eye. I’m seriously prone to bodily injury before 10am. Even when I was in day care, I asked my mom a few years ago why I always went in at 10 and she said it’s because she could never get me out of bed before then. What 3 or 4 year old kid has the sleep patterns of a teenager? I hate mornings.
- I have thick hair and I will never ever complain about having thick hair. And it makes me want to punch people who do. It’s like complaining about being too skinny.
- I seriously think my wedding day was the single-greatest day of my life but I was really glad when it was over so I could move on with my life and I don’t really understand girls who obsess over their weddings and then get depressed when it’s over. I think the second best day of my life was the day after my wedding. That brings me to…
- I’m not a planner. I like to have a general idea of what to do but I don’t think you should ever force something. I like things to happen naturally, unless it’s fondue night and I will plan the shit out of that.
So there you have it, 25 things you never thought you’d know about me.